I used to classify myself as shy to the point I would avoid answering the phone so I didn’t have to stutter my way through a conversation. When shopping I would go out of my way not to catch anyone’s eyes so I didn’t have to speak, because that would be ‘embarrassing’. People handled me rather than me handling them and yet… I had a fantastic vision that one day I would have enough confidence to step up and step out.

Many of the networking books will tell you how you should just get out there and make a little conversation and hand out your business card like that is the answer to all your problems. Well I am here to tell you that just does not work for shy people or those with very little confidence. It feels false and quite frankly, tacky. Meeting someone doesn’t create a relationship. And relationships are what you need to succeed.

A network is a term that is used to describe people with a common set of connections. Super networkers supposedly connect well to lots of people and manage all those relationships efficiently. This is just not realistic for those of us who are human and shy. So I am going to give you my tips for making networks from a non-networkers perspective.

1. Firstly if you feel uncomfortable in a networking environment, bring someone with you who is more proficient and can introduce themselves and you into various groups of people.
2. Even if you are nervous, make an effort to speak to people. In fact confessing that you don’t know anyone might be your passport to being introduced to key players in the group.
3. If you do manage to talk to someone, don’t monopolise their entire time because you feel uncomfortable to move on. On the other hand if you do connect and are having a great conversation don’t feel pressured to move onto another prospect. Take the time to create a quality connection.
4. Have a list of topics that may be interesting to help start conversations. For example I was at a function on the state of the economy recently but my topic of the moment was how the Government had dumped all the Innovation programs that supported start-up companies. I know a lot about innovation as this is one of my passions. The topic opened up conversation and debate around the table. Other topics can include travel, pets and children.
5. Give a little of yourself. You can't connect unless you open yourself up. Often others see shy people as aloof and unapproachable. Do your best to smile and act friendly.
6. Once you have a connection take the time to follow up. There is no point in making a connection in the first place if you don’t do anything about it. If you are not good with the phone then try an email. Any connection is better than none.
7. Even if you don't succeed the first time, try and try again. Sooner or later the right conditions will see you start to network and the rest is just practice. Don't beat yourself up if things go wrong. Everyone has to start somewhere.

Remember that you are trying to make a strong association and to do that you must be authentic in what you are saying and doing. It is more important to make one quality connection than 100 insincere ones. I can also promise you that the more you do it the easier it will become.

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